Radical Listening with Christian van Nieuwerburgh

Episode Notes:

-Education is what Christian’s journey revolves around. “I am most passionate about education. I want to imagine a time when everyone has access to excellent education.”

That is what motivates him. He has reflected on how access to excellent education has impacted him, given him more opportunities, and his journey. 

-Discovering coaching was a transformational moment for me. Coaching is the most respectful way to support people’s learning and professional development. And it's the most empowering way of doing that. Once I learned about coaching, there was no going back. My question became how can we use coaching most effectively in an educational setting. Then I learned the art of positive psychology which is the science of living or performance. 

-As coaches we are supporting people to be at their best. By linking coaching, which is the methodology of helping others meet desired change, and positive psychology, which is the science of being at our best, we bring out the best in others.

Education gives us the tools to pursue our goals. It also helps us overcome barriers. Everyone needs a good education. 

-There is something with each of us deciding what is the best contribution we can make. Some are amazing teachers… some are amazing leaders… Some are amazing support staff. Coaching matched my need to do well and my general approach to life. I love to see people succeed.

-Our jobs as coaches relate to other peoples’ successes.

-Radical Listening: THe Art of True Connection Book- Our job as coaches is helping others to be at their best. 

-We hope the listeners are ensuring they are at their best.

-Radical Listening: Take what coaches already know and share it with a much larger audience. It expands to so many more professional roles that could be enhanced by better listening. 

-One of my biggest strengths is that I am a learner and co-authoring with someone else can be such a remarkable learning experience. 

-Connection to the C3 Podcast: Connecting Coaches’ Cognition, and the subtitle of the book is ‘The Art of True Connection.’  Listening is not reactive and it is actually proactive. We can use the skill of listening to connect with other people.  

-Radical Listening- We see listening as a two way interaction.

-Work with each other in partnership to pull someone forward.

-In the moments that are the hardest to relate, reach out, and be able to engage can be the most powerful.

-Radical Listening Book is very practical. We are all good listeners already. We listen in empowering and powerful ways to others. Start with an intention. Imagine you are about to go into a scenario, take a moment to think, what is my intention in this conversation?

-3 Social Intentions: Connect, Appreciate, & Influences

-3 Cognitive Intentions: Understand, Solve, & Listening in Order to Learn

-Depending on our intention we listen in different ways. 

-Solving is a trap- when they really want to be listened to, not find a solution.

-Notice barriers of our listening: What can get in the way of our listening to others?  -Time? - Time Poverty -I know what is best in this situation? -Internal barriers or internal dialogue

-Quieting and Quietening - one of the skills to be a radical listener is to create an environment for the listening to happen, the other is to create an environment that is not full of distractions. Difficult in education but minimizing what we can and shielding the conversation. Trying to show the conversation is important for us.

-Skill that is challenging is interjecting. We think - don't just go quiet or not speak. Jump in and engage.  It helps to build this sense of rapport. Some programs say to not do this, but if I don't respond to those big emotions it breaks the sense of being with the other person. It is all the nonverbals. It is a building of rapport. 

-Build up the energy of the conversion by connecting with them. Finesse and optimal matching required with discernment.

-Making sure the way we are listening to the person helps us to best be most helpful for our conversational partner. 

-All of us need to be careful that fidelity to the intervention does not get in the way of the best interest of the client. Finesse is needed. Put the client first. It is based on their belief that they know what is best for them. 

-Radical Listening involves that we can listen to people in a  way that builds rapport and relationships. And sometimes putting the relationship and rapport  first can be really powerful. The message behind Radical Listening. 

- Start by having dialogue. Unlock starts by trying to  validate, understand and appreciate where you are coming from. Can learn from you. I hope it has a broader application as well. 

-The motivation for this book is Radical Listening 

Applies in a professional context but personal as well. Something you can do straight away. What is my intention for my next interaction I am going to have?

-Are you applying this to the most important relationship that I have? Sometimes in those relationships we have had for longer so we get into habits, we are not as intentional as we could be. These people deserve our full attention. How am I listening to my partner, my best friend, or my colleague?

-Listening in this way can have a transformational impact. 

-Listening is the intervention. We don't have to listen so that other things happen. Listening is the first step.  That's the thing. 

-It is fundamental as humans to connect with one another. Allocate more time to listening. 

-Radical Listening with our pets.

-Everytime we listen it is an opportunity for connection. 

And sometimes we miss that opportunity. 

-Children and listening and needing to be acknowledged. 

-Coaching is about creating ideal environments for learning.

-What’s  important is going on for you right now? And being interested in that. Not saying “What’s going on?” “How are you?” - Really caring beyond. 

 

Connect with Christian:

-coachonamotorcycle.com 

-@coachonamotorcycle - YouTube

-Barnes and Noble - Radical Listening

-Amazon.com - Radical Listening